The constant gardener
Veronica A. Shoffstall says to “Plant your own garden and decorate your own soul instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers.” And she is right-- We know better than anyone what it is that we need to feel better, to feel more comfortable in our own skin. Regardless of everything, no other person can fulfill us like we can fulfill ourselves.My sister and I have adopted that concept as our motto for this year.
I have decided that my own little garden has to be full of all the things that I need to take care of myself, because that’s what gardens are for after all, for nourishment and beauty, inspiration and peace. But how can I create a garden that will be these things for me?
I think we all have little houses inside of our hearts, and we fill it with all our favorite things that make us feel wonderful and inspired, things that remind us of who we are. Our houses make us happy and show us how good things can be. My little house in my heart has a lot of good books in it and some beautiful paints and Joni Mitchell and some really good friends and so many colors and quotes and pictures and artifacts, proving to me that the loves that I know do truly exist. My little house inside of myself has to contain all the things that I have ever loved.
But my garden, my garden has to contain all the things that I will someday ever love and all the things that I am not yet, but one day wish to become. The roots have to be deep and strong, and it has to be able to support me well into my future. I have to fill my garden with beautiful images of who it is that I have decided that I want to be and what my life will be filled with. I have to create an image of that person that I know is there somewhere, and I have to plant that image all over the place in that garden, so that I can see her bloom everywhere.
And when the seasons get rough and I am not sure if all my new plants can hang on in the wind, I will get through the winters because I will pick some blossoms and stock myself up with images of what is to come.
Whereas my house will keep me comfortable and content with where I have been, my garden will push me forward to a new life. Whereas my house will remind me of who I am, my garden will remind me of who I want to be.
My garden will tell me that I want to be a person whose silver lining isn’t ever that far away and whose luck is always just about to pick up. It will tell me that I want to be someone whose circumstances could always be worse and who isn’t afraid of what she is capable of. Someone who isn’t afraid to open her heart and just pin it there forever on her sleeve for all the world to see. My garden will remind me that I want to be someone who always knows that she has nothing to lose when it comes to loving people more fully, and someone who isn’t afraid of the waters that she wants to just dive right into. Someone who is brave. And most of all, I want to be someone who isn’t counting on anyone else’s definition of security, but who trusts that she is taking care of herself in a beautiful way, in a way that no one else can. Someone who has a whole garden of flowers that can be picked as gifts to herself whenever she needs a reminder of where she is headed.
As Sabrina Ward Harrison says, we must create what it is that we most wish to find, and I want to find that garden, next to that little house in my heart.
posted by Mary @ 10:51 PM
1 Comments:
I love this one Mar! It is so true...we can only fulfill ourselves. Unfortunately most of us are on this wild goose chase searching for that person to do the dirty work. If only I could stop running in circles.
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